how not to conduct an argument
mr president: my opponent flip-flopped. he was saying one thing before, and he’s saying another thing now.
mr kerry: this is my position: this is what i said then, this is what i say now. notice that they are the same thing.
mr president: my opponent is a flip-flopper. he just is. trust me. flip-flop.
mr kerry: the president did not use troops as a last resort.
mr president: i am willing to use troops as a last resort.
mr president: we were attacked by an enemy: we had to go to war.
mr kerry: we didn’t go to war with the enemy that attacked us.
mr president: i know who attacked us! but i attacked someone else back.
mr president: i think vlad-i-murr putin was wrong to try and get away with removing checks and balances. but the patriot act is entirely necessary.
please, please, please, if you’re going to vote for bush, email me, ring me on the phone, send a carrier pigeon, anything, and tell me why.
also: if i hear “john kerry said saddam hussein was a threat, and then he said he wasn’t” one more time, i’m going to scream.